El Borak - The Book Of Second Opinions

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The Book Of Second Opinions
By El Borak
ANOTHER Reading from the Book of Second Opinions

Now when Minerkiah settleth into his favourite chair, Lo! there cometh a knock upon his door. And Minerkiah saith unto himself, "Minerkiah ( for that was his name ), who couldst it be that knocketh upon thy door upon such a cold night as this? Minerkiah quickly scanneth the room for someone for to open the door, and seeing no one ( Kitco:noone ) to do so, ariseth from his chair and sauntereth unto the door and openeth it, and seeth two wise men upon his steppe.

"Greetings, Minerkiah. Where is he that that is born King of the Jews? For we have seen his star in the east and are come for to worship him. And, Lo! we have brought for him gifts of frankincense and myrrh."

Then Minerkiah smirketh upon the men.

"A foul blessing thou are unto us, Minerkiah", saith the wiser man, "Why smirkest thou upon us, seeing that we are long-travelled and covered with snow? Hast thou naught to say unto us, but to smirk? Believest thou not that he is even now born of whom the prophets prephesieth wonders?"

"Be it far from me", answereth Minerkiah, "to smirk upon thee because of the king that is born this day. I smirketh not upon him but upon thine offerings...for who ever deviseth to give unto a king such unpronounceable gifts as these?"

"Hast thou a better idea, smirking one?" cometh the reply.

"MuchO better in every way. Let me accompany thee unto Bethlehem, and I will give unto the newborn king such gifts as kings both covet and deserve. Then we shall all see the newborn king smile this day."

So Minerkiah joineth the men, and when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshipped him: and when they opened their treasures, they presented unto him gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.

And Minerkiah heareth angelic voices saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, and goodwill toward men". And Minerkiah, being warned in a dream, returneth home ANOTHER way. And there was much rejoicing.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

ANOTHER Reading from the book of Second Opinions

"Runnest thou in the race tomorrow?" the man asked Minerkiah, "For there is a great prize to the one who persevereth and winneth".

Minerkiah was convinced, and as he lineth up on the line with many others, he thinketh, I have what it taketh to overcome, and to conquer. A gun soundeth, and, Lo!, all were off, and Minerkiah findeth himself in the back of many runners, all of whom sprinteth straightaway to win the prize. After several leagues, however, Minerkiah noticeth that many lie upon the roadside, desperately seeking mouthfuls of Gatorade, for they burneth themselves out too quickly.

Then Minerkiah findeth himself running next to a man who diggeth gold like himself. "O Man", Minerkiah saith unto him that ran abreast, "Knowest thou how long the race lasteth? For in my haste, I forgetteth to ask the umpire of this contest".

"No man knoweth", replieth the man at his side, "For no man knoweth the future. This race is not unto the swift, but unto the wise", and with a tip of his cap, he pulleth away from Minerkiah. And Minerkiah was glad, for he wanteth not the man to see him puke upon the road.

So Minerkiah runneth on, mile after mile, and noteth that he is all alone. "Minerkiah, he saith unto himself ( for that was his name, though he findeth it hard to remember presently, "Have I been a fool to get into such a race as this, not knowing what is required of me, and wherewith it will end?". And he decideth not to answer the question just yet, for he was afeared of what that answer might be.

Well, into the race, Minerkiah was in pain. Never before had he experienced such anguish, running, running, but he knowtheth not whereto. Then ahead, he seeth a sign, and through his tears and sweat he readeth, and feareth what it would say, yet he wanteth badly for it to tell him the future, that he might know how unto he was to pace himself. But as he approacheth it and readeth, it saith only, "A little more. A little more".

But Minerkiah was not joyful of the sign, for his pain was too great. He thought himself a fool to give of himself in a contest where he knoweth not the future. He doubteth himself, and saith "It ought to be over", yet it was not. And then in front of him loometh a hill, like unto no other hill that he had seen, for it seemeth to disappear into blackness before he could see the end of it. And Minerkiah saith unto himself, "Now I know I am a fool, and should have to lie down like all the fools that have gone before me", yet on he trod. He walketh, he runneth, but most of all, he simply persevereth.

Then suddenly, a man approacheth Minerkiah to stop him. "It is over", saith the man, "Thou art the victor". And Minerkiah looketh about, and all had changed, though he knoweth not how. He felt himself wrecked, choked, strangled by his fear and doubt. "How can it be over, just as I stand on the edge of ruin?" he asketh the man.

"It is over because it is over. All things come to an end, and thou hast persevered through it. Though hast gone through the worst, and now thou canst enjoy the reward, for thy perseverence was above all the others who thought they knew the future, and bet their whole race on it. The race is not to the strong, Minerkiah, but the wise".

And Minerkiah claimeth his prize, a trophy of gold with his likeness engraven in it, his just reward for his perseverence, and he was glad.

Date: Sun Dec 19 1999 21:51

El Borak(Epic Autumn @Book of Second Opinions) ID#227363:
Copyright © 1999 El Borak/Kitco Inc. All rights reserved

I don't have a full list of the chapters, as I just translate them as the bug hits me, but here's a short list, gleaned with the help of Bart's super-duper Kitco search engine. Enjoy!

"The word of gold cometh unto Minerkiah, saying, 'Minerkiah, take thee a match and some fluid of burning and set aflame the undergarments of MoneyChangeriah'. So Minerkiah taketh a book of matches, and did douse the undergarments of MoneyChangeriah with the fliud and did alight them as gold had instructed him. And the shorts did burn, and the smoke of their burning did rise into the night.

http://www.kitcomm.com/comments/gold/1999q4/1999%5F10/991005.213126.winstonee.htm

"Then MoneyChangeriah, his undergarments still aflame, seeth CentralBankeriah coming up the road, and Lo! his face was very red. And MoneyChangeriah did tremble and shake, and a small coin of gold falleth out of his trousers.
http://www.kitcomm.com/comments/gold/1999q4/1999%5F10/991001.224019.el%5Fborake.htm

"Then a man approacheth Minerkiah, saying, "If thou wilst give me some of thine money, I will give unto thee the deed to a land worth much more, that you may profit thereby".
http://www.kitcomm.com/comments/gold/1999q4/1999%5F10/991002.143510.el%5Fborake.htm

"Then cometh MoneyChangeriah, his undergarments still aflame with a great burning, with many scrolls under his arm, unto the house of the King. And he was led to the inner chamber, where he was greeted warmly.
http://www.kitcomm.com/comments/gold/1999q4/1999%5F10/991007.202716.el%5Fborake.htm

The rest of them appear be lost in the memory hole, alas, but they were generally as follows, if I recall correctly:

Minerkiah is tricked out of his gold for paper.
Minerkiah returns from a party, only to find that his many utilities no longer work correctly.
Minerkiah meets a man with a surfboard who must sell because his holdings are down.
Minerkiah warns a man who refuses to look aboot him, and who has his brain splattered by a falling rock.

The Book of Second Opinions is an amorphous thing, and one nevers knows when ANOTHER reading may appear...

Date: Wed Jan 26 2000 20:59

El Borak (ANOTHER Reading of the Book of Second Opinions) ID#230245:
Copyright © 1999 El Borak/Kitco Inc. All rights reserved

Then Minerekiah trod the long road home, his head down, for he was muchO grieved. And he pondereth how his life was laid waste, since there was none ( Kitco: noone ) who had any use for his stones of gold that he diggeth from the ground. And it was midnight, and a great darkness was all aboot him. Then hearing a noise, Minerkiah looketh up to see the outline of a great bear coming toward him, and fierce was its countenance, and Minerkiah saith unto himself, "Minerkiah ( for that was his name ) , thou art to be devoured by this great bear, for it is your destiny to be laid waste by its strength and evil", and he sitteth down in the road, to await his destruction.

But, Lo!, as the bear approacheth Minerkiah, at the place where he had chosen to give his life unto the great beast, the bear turneth aside, and Lo! there was a great pyre of stones, with muchO wood, all unburnt, upon it, and the bear, which was fierce of countenance, laith upon it.

And the voice of gold saith unto Minerkiah, "Arise from the dust, Minerkiah, and set flame to the pyre, for the bear shall not live past this day". And Minerkiah ariseth from the dust, and quickly sprayeth fluid of burning upon the wood ( for it was very dry ) , and lighteth it, and the flames thereof did arise quickly and violently, until he no longer seeth the bear, but much black smoke, and flames, and sparks. And the fierce heat drove Minerkiah back, until he could no longer see the outline of the bear, but only the flames and the sparks arising therefrom.

And Minerkiah watcheth, and Lo! there was movement within the flames! And a great snorting noise reacheth his ears. And Minerkiah was confounded, and approacheth the pyre, to see what the movement was. And then, from out of the ashes, a great golden bull ariseth. And it shaketh its mighty horns, and snorteth at Minerkiah, with such a noise that he was startled, and greatly afeared.

And the bull boundeth away, upward from Minerkiah, and disappeareth into the night. And the sun did arise, unto a glorious new day. And Minerkiah realizeth his former foolishness, to succumb to the bear, which was but a bull being born, and he taketh up his pick, and headeth unto his mountain to dig more gold.

Date: Sat Jan 01 2000 01:22

El Borak(Gphyz @ANOTHER Reading from the Book of Second Opinions) ID#227363:
Copyright © 1999 El Borak/Kitco Inc. All rights reserved

Then Minerkiah leaveth his house, and Lo! The sky was filled divers and sundry lights of many hues, and many explosions, and the people did cheer at them and were exceeding glad.

And Minerkiah asketh one, "What is the meaning of this commotion and of these thunderings?"

And a man respondeth unto him, "Behold! Old things are passed away, and all things are become new, for an evil time has passed, and we are glad for it."

"Meanest thou the bug?", he asketh, "I have heard that its effects may not be felt until a time future, and that it is most insidious".

"Not that at all", replieth the man, "for the bug is yet with us. But a bloody century has come to an end, when man didst prey upon man, and millions died for the dreams of evil men, both as their victims, and their Nemeses. Many fought valiantly to preserve our freedoms, and they should be honored. We celebrate in hopes that the next century will bring us more goodness than the last, and that truth will indeed prevail."

"Then I shall celebrate with you", saith Minerkiah, "for thy hopes are also mine, and my dreams are thine. And may God richly bless you all this year".

And there was much rejoicing.

Date: Thu Oct 07 1999 20:27

El Borak(ANOTHER reading of the Book of Second Opinions (for Mo) ) ID#227363:
Copyright © 1999 El Borak/Kitco Inc. All rights reserved

"Then cometh MoneyChangeriah, his undergarments still aflame with a great burning, with many scrolls under his arm, unto the house of the King. And he was led to the inner chamber, where he was greeted warmly.

"Live forever, O King", sayeth MoneyChangeriah.

"Ask", replieth the King, "and it shall be yours, even up to half of my kingdom".

"O King ( live forever ) , remeberest thou when thou didst borrow much gold from me, and giveth me these scrolls which represent the borrowing? These bonds are your debt, and I have come to redeem them, for CentralBankeriah cometh unto me and demand that I repay him, and I have not wherewith to pay, because a wise man from the east with a large rickshaw cartest away my gold, and Minerkiah did set aflame my shorts..."

"Yes, yes", interrupteth the king ( for lo! he had little patience for MoneyChangeriah, nor did anyone else ) .

"So, O king ( live forever ) , please redeem the bonds, so that I may have mine own money back."

The king then inquireth, "How much are the bonds for?"

"One million utils of gold", replieth Moneychangerkiah, for all in this land had taken economics and knew what a Util was.

"Indeed, that is very much", replieth the king, and he taketh out ANOTHER scroll and writeth upon it: "One Million Utils. This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private". And he handeth the note to MoneyChangeriah, and taketh away the bonds.

And the face of MoneyChangeriah did become puzzled, and his mouth was agape, and he saith unto the King, "I gave unto thee gold, whyfore dost thou give me paper?"

"Paper for Paper", replieth the king. The gold which thou giveth me in exchange for the bond I lent to CentralBankeriah, who lent it back to you, who sold it to a wise man from the east with a large rickshaw, and so we have no more gold, but paper. Now take thy paper, and begone".

And MoneyChangeriah looketh at the new note, and the face of FDRiah was upon it, and he was not at all surprized."

Chapter 8, vv 17-45

Date: Sat Oct 02 1999 14:35

El Borak(Bullish on Bullion Please go Away) ID#230245:
Copyright © 1999 El Borak/Kitco Inc. All rights reserved

"Then a man approacheth Minerkiah, saying, "If thou wilst give me some of thine money, I will give unto thee the deed to a land worth much more, that you may profit thereby". And Minerkiah, not remembering how MoneyChangeriah taketh his last money, agreeth. And the man giveth unto Minerkiah paper, upon which was much color: the deed to his new land.

So Minerkiah hitcheth up his oxen to his cart, and went away to see his new land, for it was very far away. And he arriveth at last, after his long journey, and vieweth the land, and his face fell. For in the land were many swamps, and cedar trees, and dragons with large teeth and green skin, and they crawleth upon the ground and in the water.

And Minerkiah looketh up to see a sign ( for it was prominently displayed ) , and the sign readeth, "Welcome the Florida". And he was sorrowed in his heart, for he had no use for a swampland inhabited by dragons. And Minerkiah returneth home with empty pockets, but much wiser."

Second Opinions, Chapter6, v7-24

Date: Fri Oct 01 1999 22:40

El Borak(ANOTHER Reading from the Book of Second Opinions) ID#230245:
Copyright © 1999 El Borak/Kitco Inc. All rights reserved

"Then MoneyChangeriah, his undergarments still aflame, seeth CentralBankeriah coming up the road, and Lo! his face was very red. And MoneyChangeriah did tremble and shake, and a small coin of gold falleth out of his trousers. CentralBankeriah picketh up the coin, and sayeth, "MoneyChaneriah, where is all the soft gold which I lent unto thee?" And MoneyChangeriah replieth, "A wise man from the East arriveth with a large rickshaw and carryeth it all away, except for one coin, and leaveth me with naught but these plastic Pokemon toys with which to amuse the huddled masses'.

Then CentralBankeriah produceth from his pocket a scroll, and asketh, 'Whose signature is upon this scroll?' And Moneychangeriah sayeth, 'It is mine signature upon the contract.' 'Knoweth thou what the contract sayeth? It demandeth that all the soft gold be returned to me by month-end, and Lo! the time is at hand.'

'It is', replieth Moneychangeriah, 'But I have not the soft gold to return, for a wise man from the East carteth it all away, and Minerkiah has set alight mine undergarments with a great flame. I have nothing wherewith to pay thee.'

'Then according to the contract', begineth CentralBankeriah, 'Thy children are to be sold, and thou shalt be placed in a prison, until thou canst return all the soft gold which thou borrowest and foolishly squandereth'.

'Wait!', pleadeth MoneyChangeriah, 'I have many bonds, debts of the king, which I can sell to return thy soft gold unto thee. Give me a month, and I shall repay it all'"

To be continued...

Date: Tue Oct 05 1999 21:31

Winston(Golden Oldie from El Borak--Sep 26 23:06--the Sunday that launched the rally--) ID#252445:

"ANOTHER reading from the Book of Second Opinions seems appropriate:

"The word of gold cometh unto Minerkiah, saying, 'Minerkiah, take thee a match and some fluid of burning and set aflame the undergarments of MoneyChangeriah'. So Minerkiah taketh a book of matches, and did douse the undergarments of MoneyChangeriah with the fliud and did alight them as gold had instructed him. And the shorts did burn, and the smoke of their burning did rise into the night.

And there was much rejoicing"

September 9th 23:08

http://www.kitcomm.com/comments/gold/1999q3/1999_09/990907.230801.el_borake.htm

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